oceana

Dear Jensen,

I can call you Jensen, can't I? I mean, I feel we are kind of intimate, what with all the time we've been spending together lately. First Supernatural, then Smallville, now the movies - and in my free time I'm forced to read about every possible variation of the epic love between you and the most adorable Mr. Padalecki (who should
better stop being so damn attractive if he doesn't want me to jump him next time I see him. Which, I realize, in this fandom is maybe not such a funny thing to say, so pretend I didn't say it.) But enough about Mr. I-can-make-everyone-smile-just-by-the-sheer-awesomeness-of-my-existence-Padalecki. This is about you, Jensen.

Jensen, oh, Jensen. We've got to stop meeting this way. First Smallville, and yes, you looked pretty on Smallville. I know you are pretty, and I believe I've told you so a couple of hundred times before. You don't have to convince me. I'm not complaining. I kinda liked your character on Smallville, too (though I've got four episodes to go, so who knows what you'll do. I mean, you made me cry once already this week.)* But to be honest, I had other plans for my life than watching an entire season of Smallville. Ever.

And now My Bloody Valentine? Seriously? Really?

I mean, you look pretty in that one, too, but as I said, I already know you are pretty. And I'm not saying your acting is bad, although, we both know that running through forests/mines/small towns looking slightly panicked and jumpy gets tired after a while. But you did a good job. Only, it was kind of hard to see, between all the BLOOD flowing around on screen, flowing and splattering and dripping and generally making a mess. Strong and gory violence, I believe is what the official warning sticker said?

Well, at least I can't say they didn't want me.

I'm glad you had fun making this movie. I don't know if it was smart career move, but hey, I don't like sharing anyway, if you want to stay a b-movie actor, that's fine with me. But I still can't believe you made me watch such a violent movie! Hello, I was the one who hid under the chairs in Jurassic Park because I was so scared, remember? Okay, you didn't know me back then, but I'm sure I've mentioned it. And now you have me sitting alone, in my lonely appartment on a Sunday night, when it's dark outside (it was a cold and stormy night..), and yes, there really was a thunderstorm, and you make me watch scary movies that have blood dripping all over! You are a very bad influence on me, Jensen.

Let's not even talk about the whole 3d-glasses thing. Do you know how much "fun" it is to eat tomatoes with mozarella and basil when you are wearing red and green glasses? Not that I was hungry after the first few minutes of the movie anyway.

So, let's not do that again. Maybe we can have a quiet night out next time, you know, dinner and a movie, maybe play some darts afterwards. Or, if that's too boring, get a fast car and hunt criminals in southern France. You wearing a tux, me wearing a bikini... And then play darts (I know that nice Irish pub in Nice). Just, anything that doesn't involve blood and graphic violence would be nice. I'd even let you dress up us a wanna-be-punk with blue hair, because I heard that that movie is supposed to be quite good, but it's also ridiculously expensive over here, and since our Valentine's date went so not well, I'm not really willing to spend that kind of money on you right now. Plus, you are not pretty in that one. You hate me, don't you?

Well, I guess I'm trying Devour next, though I'm not getting my hopes up, seeing how there is blood dripping from someone's hopefully dead toes on the DVD cover. But at least it's without Paris Hilton.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Love (slightly waivering),
Oceana






*yes, I'm referring to that story where Jared is a spy and you are his handler

Spoilers for both parts of the season finale within.

( Dear Can't Say because that would be a spoiler... )


( Dear Mr. Bellisario )