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I smoke. I started a long time ago, longer than I care to think about. And now I'm thinking about stopping.
See, I never smoked much. I'd smoke when I went out, when I had coffee, when I went to the stables. There were days when I didn't smoke at all, months, even, when I was abroad and couldn't afford it. I never had a problem "quitting" for a few days or weeks. I can't remember how much I smoked in school, probably a lot at the end. Same goes for the beginning of university, when I would go outside and smoke a cigarette during the day. Smoking gives you a reason to talk to people. "Wanna smoke?" is something you can say to someone you don't know too well. "Want to go for a coffee?" not only takes more time, but is also way more personal. You can actually join a group of strangers, just because they stand outside a building and join them for a smoke, and you'll probably end up talking to them. And I'm going to miss that.
Physically, I was never addicted, otherwise it wouldn't be so easy for me to quit for a few days. At the moment, I smoke about 1 pack per week, depending on how often I go out. And that's exactly why I never stopped. When the people around me would attempt to stop smoking (none of them successful, I might add), I could say, oh, it's just 4 Euro a week, that's not much, I can afford that. Besides, I can always stop, I'm not addicted.
Right.
So why do I keep doing it?
Well, to be honest, I like smoking. Coffee without a cigarette is just boring for me. Sitting down at the end of a long day, having a cigarette in the garden, those precious few minutes of quiet, of being there just for me. Yes, I like smoking.
Only lately, I have found that more often than not I didn't like the actual cigarette part of the smoking. So I'm thinking it's time to quit. I sort of tried quitting before, but only for a few weeks. The main reason for that is that I didn't tell anyone that I wanted to quit, not even myself. I'd tell myself, I'm quitting for a few weeks. No idea why I was that stupid.
But I think now I'm serious about it, and I have an idea to motivate myself: I will keep track of the cigarettes I don't smoke. Then I will count how much money I saved and buy myself DVDs. I didn't bring my cigarettes to the stables on Friday (four cigarettes unsmoked) and managed not to ask anyone for a cigarette. But the hard part will be when I go out next time, when everyone around me is smoking, and when the cigarette just feels so right in my hand.
See, I never smoked much. I'd smoke when I went out, when I had coffee, when I went to the stables. There were days when I didn't smoke at all, months, even, when I was abroad and couldn't afford it. I never had a problem "quitting" for a few days or weeks. I can't remember how much I smoked in school, probably a lot at the end. Same goes for the beginning of university, when I would go outside and smoke a cigarette during the day. Smoking gives you a reason to talk to people. "Wanna smoke?" is something you can say to someone you don't know too well. "Want to go for a coffee?" not only takes more time, but is also way more personal. You can actually join a group of strangers, just because they stand outside a building and join them for a smoke, and you'll probably end up talking to them. And I'm going to miss that.
Physically, I was never addicted, otherwise it wouldn't be so easy for me to quit for a few days. At the moment, I smoke about 1 pack per week, depending on how often I go out. And that's exactly why I never stopped. When the people around me would attempt to stop smoking (none of them successful, I might add), I could say, oh, it's just 4 Euro a week, that's not much, I can afford that. Besides, I can always stop, I'm not addicted.
Right.
So why do I keep doing it?
Well, to be honest, I like smoking. Coffee without a cigarette is just boring for me. Sitting down at the end of a long day, having a cigarette in the garden, those precious few minutes of quiet, of being there just for me. Yes, I like smoking.
Only lately, I have found that more often than not I didn't like the actual cigarette part of the smoking. So I'm thinking it's time to quit. I sort of tried quitting before, but only for a few weeks. The main reason for that is that I didn't tell anyone that I wanted to quit, not even myself. I'd tell myself, I'm quitting for a few weeks. No idea why I was that stupid.
But I think now I'm serious about it, and I have an idea to motivate myself: I will keep track of the cigarettes I don't smoke. Then I will count how much money I saved and buy myself DVDs. I didn't bring my cigarettes to the stables on Friday (four cigarettes unsmoked) and managed not to ask anyone for a cigarette. But the hard part will be when I go out next time, when everyone around me is smoking, and when the cigarette just feels so right in my hand.
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